I have been reading the Proverbs everyday now for 15 years. There are 31 chapters and 31 days in most months so my practice has been to read the corresponding Proverb on that particular date.
Proverbs is a book of wisdom. It is written from a Father to a Son. Many times we read where Solomon says, “when I was young, my Father said…” The term “my son” is used twenty three times in thirty one chapters. Solomon not only shares the wisdom he got from his father, David but he also shares wisdom from his Heavenly Father. God has hardwired us from the womb for relationships and one of those relationships is a Father and his children.
Being a Father has been my greatest joy. It has led to some of my proudest moments but also some of my deepest pain. I have made many mistakes in my life and not being the Father that I should have been has been on the top of the list. The difference between a good dad and a bad one is not perfection. The difference is the ability to recognize your mistakes and to learn from them.
As a parent, I want the best for my children. I push them in many areas, especially those that have affected me in my life. I grew up extremely fast and did not have much of a childhood. I grew up surviving, controlling my environment, and taking on “adult” responsibilities as a child. Those things have served me well for many years. They have allowed me to persevere when others would have given up. They have propelled me to leadership assignments way beyond my years. They have helped me handle the pressure of responsibility when others probably would have cracked.
But my greatest strength has become my greatest weakness. I am stubborn and hard-headed. I like to be right and I hate to lose. When I can’t control my environment or the actions of my children, I become frustrated and angry. I want each of them to be serious about life, their jobs, education and “adult stuff.” I tend to forget that they are young, immature in some areas and they want to play where I have a detailed agenda, a plan, and a role I feel they need to fulfill. Don’t judge, I am just writing what is coming to me.
Without going into great detail or drama, my youngest son Austin who is 21 years old just had a baby daughter. Her name is Lakely Shea and she was born one week ago today on October 19. She weighed 6 lbs., 11 oz. She is absolutely beautiful, a precious little angel. This entire situation has been totally out of my control and unfortunately, that hindered my joy for a while. James 1:17 came to my mind, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.”
I am excited about being a G daddy again, especially to this precious little girl. I am trusting God with this situation and surrendering my granddaughter and her parents to the Lord. My Heavenly Father is having to teach me some things. I am open, I am listening, and I am learning. God, thank you for this perfect little gift.