As 2011 comes to an end, I’ve decided to revisit some of my top viewed blogs of this year. This post was the Number 1 viewed post of the year. Check it out. Daddy’s Girl

Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

I always knew this day would come. I began praying for my children’s spouses when they were born. A Dad looks forward to his sons finding a wife. As for his daughters finding husbands…not so much. Every dad knows that one day “that guy” will come visit him and ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. I just didn’t think it would happen this soon. I know that every girl dreams of getting married. I am not an expert on women but after living with three for many years now, I have learned that little girls grow up waiting on Prince Charming. All girls want to find “Mr. Right” and live “happily ever after.” Every girl longs for the Cinderella story. It is played out over and over in the young woman’s mind and in a hundred chick flicks. Most of the romantic comedies today are top grossing films because women love to see them played out. Cinderella is beautiful, Prince Charming is a handsome gentleman and perfect happiness is just a kiss away.

Well, it has happened. Prince Charming came to see me. He invited me to breakfast. After an hour of small talk, he asked me the question. ( I had already known in my heart why he wanted to have breakfast with me.)  I knew what was coming. I quickly tried to imagine how I would feel. Here it goes…He is asking for my first born daughter’s hand in marriage. He is asking for “Daddy’s girl”. He is asking to marry my little girl (who is almost 22).

This was hard. Honestly, it is still hard. I told him yes. I said yes to a guy who has been radically saved, loves Jesus and just recently started pastoring his first church. I said yes to this guy who passionately articulated to me how much he loves my daughter; is promising to take care of her and make her happy. I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this. This is my little girl.

Last night he asked her to marry him and she said “yes.”  Kayla, my little girl is now officially engaged and will be married next August.

If you know Kayla, you know that she is a very beautiful young woman. She is actually stunning. Not only is she beautiful on the outside, she is beautiful on the inside.

She is sweet and caring. She has the amazing ability to be gentle and sensitive but she can also be  one of the stubborn, toughest people you will ever meet!

She loves Jesus and has always taken a very bold stand for him. She WILL confront and correct when things aren’t “right.”

She loves ministry, especially working with children. She cares about people. She will be an incredible Pastor’s wife.

Kayla has kept herself pure and she is a virgin. I am so proud of her for that commitment. She has turned out to be an incredible young woman who loves the Lord.

I believe most parents all have the same desires. They want their kids to grow up and lead successful lives. Lives with purpose and conviction. They want them to make wise decisions and live Christ centered lives that bring glory to God. My Kayla has done that.

I am proud of her and excited for her. I know that she is happy, so I am happy. Daddy’s girl has grown up. Pray for me! I am going to have to walk my girl down the aisle,  give her away and then conduct the marriage ceremony. I am crying again…
Congratulations Kayla and Kenny. I love you both and really am excited about your future. And Kayla…you will ALWAYS BE Daddy’s girl. (Tears again)

As 2011 comes to an end, I’ve decided to revisit some of my top viewed blogs of this year. This post seemed to challenge and encourage people to Fight For There Marriage. Check it out.

In our culture, everyone is searching for “Mr/Mrs, Right.” Most ladies are daydreaming about her knight in shining armor and looking for a combination of Edward Cullen, Brad Pitt and Will Smith. Most men are on the hunt for that sexy, gorgeous, funny girl with a killer smile.

Women want a romantic, sensitive, funny, sweet guy. Men dream of that beautiful woman with that beautiful body that he will marry and have sex three times a day with…and yes, he is still dreaming.

Mr. And Mrs. Right get married, have some kids, go to work, pay the mortgage, etc… You get the picture- life happens!

The problem is, we dated perfect people. We had a perfect picture and expectations for a perfect marriage. Those expectations were not realistic.

Most couples go into their marriage believing that if they can marry Mr. or Mrs. Right, that will be the answer to all their problems and believe that “love will keep us together.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m a hopeless romantic and I believe in love. You have to have love.

I’m not talking about silly, Ooey-gooey, emotion only type love.I am talking about commitment; honoring your vows; hanging in when things get tough. I am speaking of a I Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4-7 kind of love. You know, the kind of love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Too many couples today are throwing in the towel and giving up on their marriages. They become selfish and immature. This isn’t high school! Grow up, this is your life, this is your marriage! Remember that you made a covenant to God and to your spouse.

I’m not saying that it will all be easy, you will have to fight for your sanity many times! If you’re married, you will face disappointment and dissatisfaction many times. You will wonder at times, “do I really love this person?”

Fight for your marriage- hell  is trying to destroy your family! Love your spouse; Call each other just to say hello; Date once a week; Get away quarterly; Communicate openly and honestly; Fight to stay together; Put Jesus first; look in the mirror and not out the window. Ask God to change you and not your spouse.

Fight for your marriage!

 

As 2011 comes to an end, I’ve decided to revisit some of my top viewed blogs of this year. This post seemed to challenge and encourage people to live without regret. Check it out.

As 2011 comes to an end, I’ve decided to revisit some of my top viewed blogs of this year. This post seemed to challenge and encourage people to not let life’s Defining Moments pass you by. Check it out.

I can remember 26 years and 10 months ago being at New Hanover Hospital in Wilmington, N.C. It was August 10, 1984 to be exact. I was getting ready to experience one of greatest changes in my life that I have ever known. I really had no clue what that day would mean to me and how significant the impact the birth of my first born son would have on my life.

On that day I got a wake up call…it did not come via the Iphone, it came at the hands of Doctor O’Quinn, a 70+ year old veteran OBGYN who handed me my 8 pound, 7 oz. baby boy. My life was never the same!

I had heard people say that when you have a child, you will understand unconditional love; you will understand sacrifice; and you will forever be impacted by the love that you have for your child.
I didn’t get ‘it’ until that moment that I first held my son. Then, it hit me. That overwhelming sense of love and pride…the feeling that, “this is ours, we did this – wow!!”

Then the feeling of responsibility Not just the provision aspect – food, clothing and shelter but the teaching aspect. The “being a man” aspect.

Parenting would prove to be the single greatest challenge of my young life, and after 26 years and six children later, that still rings true
today.

So why am I writing about this specific event? Why the reminiscing and nostalgia today? Why are my eyes welling up with tears as I write these words? Well, something pretty significant is happening again today on June 13.

This time as I write, I am in Atlanta, GA at NorthSide hospital. My wife, my youngest daughter and I just arrived with a Chick Fillet biscuit for my first born son who is getting ready to watch his first born son come in to the world. I am experiencing de je vu as I look at the graph showing my sweet daughter in law’s contractions and as I listen to that amazing sound of my grandson’s heartbeat on the monitor. All of these sights and sounds from so long ago are arresting my attention.

Those who know me will tell you that patience isn’t my strong suit but today I am waiting with great joy for the birth of my grandson like a kid waiting for Christmas!

Update: At 6:20 pm,  Finnegan Michael Flockhart was born. Finn

Weighed 6 lbs. and 6 oz. and he was 20 inches long.

Words cannot come close to describing the feelings that I am experiencing. My wife and I are overcome with emotions – joy, gratitude, pride, excitement, etc…

I have a grandson! All of you grandparents have been telling me for years how wonderful this is – you were right! It is amazing!

Just like 26 years ago, I have experienced a miraculous life change. The impact that little Finn has had on me in less than 24 hours is clearly a defining moment.Time is measured in minutes but life is measured in moments…defining moments. Have you had any lately?

 

 

As 2011 comes to an end, I’ve decided to revisit some of my top viewed blogs of this year. This post seemed to challenge and encourage people to Listen And Learn. Check it out.

Listening And Learning

I have been reading the Proverbs everyday now for 15 years. There are 31 chapters and 31 days in most months so my practice has been to read the corresponding Proverb on that particular date.

Proverbs is a book of wisdom. It is written from a Father to a Son. Many times we read where Solomon says, “when I was young, my Father said…” The term “my son” is used twenty three times in thirty one chapters. Solomon not only shares the wisdom he got from his father, David but he also shares wisdom from his Heavenly Father. God has hardwired us from the womb for relationships and one of those relationships is a Father and his children.

Being a Father has been my greatest joy. It has led to some of my proudest moments but also some of my deepest pain. I have made many mistakes in my life and not being the Father that I should have been has been on the top of the list. The difference between a good dad and a bad one is not perfection. The difference is the ability to recognize your mistakes and to learn from them.

As a parent, I want the best for my children. I push them in many areas, especially those that have affected me in my life. I grew up extremely fast and did not have much of a childhood. I grew up surviving, controlling my environment, and taking on “adult” responsibilities as a child. Those things have served me well for many years. They have allowed me to persevere when others would have given up. They have propelled me to leadership assignments way beyond my years. They have helped me handle the pressure of responsibility when others probably would have cracked.

But my greatest strength has become my greatest weakness. I am stubborn and hard-headed. I like to be right and I hate to lose. When I can’t control my environment or the actions of my children, I become frustrated and angry. I want each of them to be serious about life, their jobs, education and “adult stuff.” I tend to forget that they are young, immature in some areas and they want to play where I have a detailed agenda, a plan, and a role I feel they need to fulfill. Don’t judge, I am just writing what is coming to me.

Without going into great detail or drama, my youngest son Austin who is 21 years old just had a baby daughter. Her name is Lakely Shea and she was born one week ago today on October 19. She weighed 6 lbs., 11 oz. She is absolutely beautiful, a precious little angel. This entire situation has been totally out of my control and unfortunately, that hindered my joy for a while. James 1:17 came to my mind, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.”

I am excited about being a G daddy again, especially to this precious little girl. I am trusting God with this situation and surrendering my granddaughter and her parents to the Lord. My Heavenly Father is having to teach me some things. I am open, I am listening, and I am learning. God, thank you for this perfect little gift.